What does the fear of public speaking have to do with connecting with your audience? Well, when you take the stage smiling, looking confident and comfortable, the audience will immediately relax, knowing that they are in good hands. That is, you’ll connect.
The first secret you need to know is that most people can’t see that you’re nervous, unless of course the perspiration is streaming down your face. Alternatively, your knees are shaking like a magnitude eight earthquake. Of course you mouth could be as dry as the Sahara desert. The worst-case scenario is that you have all three symptoms. However, if the audience can’t see that you’re nervous, fake it until you make it. And oh yea, never apologise.
Welcome Those Nerves
I have been speaking publicly for over 20 years and I’m still nervous every time before I speak. Mind you, I would be even more nervous if I wasn’t. Why? Because I know that those nerves energises me and gives me a razor-sharp focus. It actually means you care.
The Story Behind Nerves
The Adrenaline Rush
So what’s the story behind these nerves? Well, it’s primordial and it’s part of our reptilian brain. It’s your primitive, fight or flight response. And this is part of your survival instinct. Because in those early Neanderthal days, if you were rejected by the group, you would probably die. So even to day that fear of rejection, still triggers a rush of adrenaline that will soar throughout your body. While an adrenaline rush for athletes is anticipated every time and a legitimate natural drug supplement; when you get an unexpected adrenaline rush on stage, you will most likely freak out. However, once you know and understand what’s going on, realise that you’ll survive and recognise that this rush will energise you and give you a razor like focus, you’ll welcome those nerves. You’ll find that with time, you will be able to control those butterflies in your stomach and have them fly in formation.
Worst Time for Nerves
Usually the nerves are worse just before it’s your turn to speak, as there are no distractions. These fears are often about being judged, and thinking about what could go wrong. However once you are up there and speaking, nerves usually subside to some degree. But now and then, they can sneak up on you and can play havoc.
For me, this has to do with some old self-worth issue
that sneak in from left field. Now I recognise it and wave those nerves goodbye.
As I mentioned, I’m still nervous every time before I speak. As Mark Twain said, “There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous, and those that are liars.” It’s how you manage your nerves that’s important. One of the most important aspect of public speaking is preparation. The saying, “Fail to prepare, prepare to fail” has never been more relevant. Ever had one of those exam nightmares where you know absolutely know nothing? Preparing includes practice, familiarisation with the stage and venue. Get there early, get up on stage and imagine the audience being there. This is so that when you do get up there, it will be like visiting an old friend.
But lets say you have prepared and you’re not
sure whether you’re just very excited or very
nervous. My suggestion is to take in a deep
slow breath, hold it, let it out slowly while letting your shoulders slump and then wait. Each part of this four-part exercise should be done slowly to a three-minute count. Do this a few times and you’ll feel yourself relaxing. This phenomenon is well understood by physiologists and you can find out why here. It just works.
Mind Over Matter
Another way to reduce those nerves and perform at your peak on stage is to imagine yourself stepping through an arch like entry when stepping on to that stage. What the…? I hear you say. Well, have you ever had a bad day and someone you really like tells you an uplifting story and you immediately feel better. That’s what’s called a change of state. When you walk through that imaginary arch and tap into all your past successes, you’ll be able to take that stage and own it. This tactic will give you a new confidence and
believe, and you’ll know that you’re just going to nail it. Trust me, you’ll be surprised at your success. Visualising yourself being successful, means you will be. These strategies also reduce nerves. Did you know that the brain can’t differentiate between visualising success and success having actually happened? Always visualise success. That’s why people say, “If you can see it, you can be it.” or “I you believe it, you can be it.”
There are many other methods to help control your nerves, however imagining everybody naked has never done it for me and I have yet to hear from someone that it has worked for. One thing that has worked for me is to get up on stage anytime an opportunity presents itself, or to create those opportunities to increase my stage time. The strongest advocate for this is a champion speaker, coach and humorist, Darren LaCroix, who has the mantra “Stage time, stage time, stage time.” Oh! And one more thing, it’s always about the audience, it’s never about you, so STAY; that is, Stop, Thinking About Yourself. I learned this from Kim Chamberlain. Check out her six tips here.
Make nerves your friend. It energises you and gives you a razor sharp focus. It shows you care.
Speak to Connect, and make a difference.